About Picky Eaters

Hi. My name is Roxanne.

I am a picky eater.

I don't know whose fault it is, really. We're told by professionals that we're to blame our mothers for our own shortcomings. I don't think I can in this respect. I could take responsibility for my own problem. Nah.

I blame my father.

My father was the KING of picky eaters. He ate three vegetables: corn, peas, and beans. He would eat a tomato ONLY if it remained whole. Forget about casseroles or pizza. Hamburgers were to be void of all condiments.

Then they had me. I'm not anywhere near as picky as he was, but I do have issues.

If you have a picky children, let me help you get into some of their possible thought patterns by sharing mine:

• Texture is a fickle thing. If something is too smushy, too hard, too gritty, too slimy...
• Smell. I have to hold my breath while I cook raw meat. The smell is so strong to me that I can't eat it after I've cooked it if I don't hold my breath.
• Shrimp look like large grasshoppers. I grew up with LARGE grasshoppers everywhere. They would hang off of my bedroom screen and freak me out. Here, LOOK for yourself.
• All seafood smells like fish.
• Sometimes the names of things (eg "aspic") are enough to turn me away.
• I eat only pigs, chickens and cows, and turkeys--and only the "meat" parts. (For the record, I'm not against animals for food because I believe that that is one of their purposes for being here. I buy locally grown as much as possible so that I know that they've been treated properly and humanely.) Anything else is too "freaky" for me (lamb, venison, organ meats).

So, please remember my "pickiness" as you read my reviews regarding these menus. If you are not prone to this condition, you can be confident that YOUR instinct about how the meal would be is the correct one!